Black Saturday? 2013.... is that what follows Black Friday?
Hi
Well, I have a better appreciation for Thanksgiving turkey dinners: wherever they were prepared: the leftovers. I devoured the mashed potatoes and gravy, the cornbread stuffing & Morton's cranberry sauce. All mixed together along side sweet potato & marsh-mellow goo.
It is crazy to have a great portion of the American people en route over Thanksgiving week-end.... like 'ants' scurrying about in the sky and on the roads. But, it is a perfect excuse if one is needed: to bring families together- for no other reason than 'to break bread'. There is value in that simple ritual. Italians take great stock in that value in life: meal-time, on a daily basis is an inviolate family time. We Americans do it on a BIG SCALE: at least once a year. Combine that with each family's history... and you feel part of a tradition. It becomes part of the fabric of who we are, and what makes us a bit different and the same.
There is something warming about those concepts.
I am a displaced person. I am now also a vehicle-less person. Carlyle is sweet to let me use her car. Mine is in the shop for its 75,000 mile check up and because the convertible top got STUCK: not UP and not DOWN. And, not a good position to be in.... if driving is required.
I misplaced my phone.... so, I was out of communication for a couple of days. It is quite the dis placed, mis-placed life I am leading. It is all appropriate and symbolic.
I have purged all my blouses, sweaters, tops. Tried them on: given some away, and kept some. Now it is time for the Bottoms. Hmmm. It is like shopping in my closet. If they fit: they are MINE all over again.... and off to the gal who irons. If they do not fit, or don't fit my maturing personality: they go onto a new life in a new closet. My goal: is to have a closet NOT filled, but containing only stainLESS clothes that fit, and that I might actually wear. What a concept! Seems simple. Seems is the operative word.
This is the second year in 30 years that I will not send out Christmas cards. They would be in the mail today.... and were always memorable cards. It was a lot of work- 400 cards to stuff, address, stamp, and mail. I got great in the end: POSTCARDS were my salvation to eliminating stuffing & licking envelopes. Last year, I was at my son George's - helping him move. It took many more week than had anticipated because he bought a cool house from a man who died while on holiday.... in france. This poor dude choked to death on escargot! At any rate.... no Christmas cards while packing, and unpacking in the Berkshires. Saved by slaving over my son's new home. This year: I am displaced..... and have moved out of my home. I don't even have a stamp which is NOT packed away. So, I will chalk this one up as a GIFT of my heretofore sick home: a reprieve from Christmas card sending!
I am getting a hankering to see a movie on the big screen: my movieaholic tendencies are taking over all motivation for today. We will see what triumphs!
Smiles,
Judy
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Turkey, triptophane, and Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving Day, 2013
A day to give thanks.
One day a year we are asked for a moment of gratitude. Which requires a certain amount of grace.
It amazes me that Americans frenetically fly, drive, travel for one meal. That is a lot of time, energy and resources for one dinner. The adds up to a lot of humanity moving about. For one repast. It is stunning, really. What motivates us Americans to be obsessed with this one day? Is is that is is an ALL AMERICAN holiday- separating us from the rest of the pack? Is it that we are eager to be thankful? Is it that we have an excuse to be gluttonous under the guise of tradition? Is it that we move heaven and earth sometimes to be home for this holiday? Is it about generosity of spirit and family?
At any rate: I awaken to a home without cable: no Thanksgiving Day Parade. No Dog Show at Madison Square Garden. Those are part of what defines this day for me: besides dining on turkey at least once a year- with stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, gravy and cranberry sauce. Topped with Pecan & Apple pies ala mode.
Yum. Casey, Carlyle and I are having a Thanksgiving picnic in their screened in back porch. Feast cooked by Morton's Market- an upscale Sarasota Landmark and food market. No fuss. No muss.
I put out my Grandma's cloth placemats and we will create our own feast, casual style ala outside. Hope the sun keeps the cool away.
Yesterday, we went to see Howard- my 93 year old dad. He was delighted to see me, and he realized it had been awhile. Good on him, as they might say down under. He didn't recognize his grand daughter, Carlyle and it would reason, that he wouldn't know her boyfriend either. But, they got a kick out of being at the old age home. There were lots of folks who were happy to see me after months of being away. I have 'buds' at the dementia wing of the old age home! I am paving the way for my future.
Happy Thanksgiving to all with warmth and a big smile
Judy
A day to give thanks.
One day a year we are asked for a moment of gratitude. Which requires a certain amount of grace.
It amazes me that Americans frenetically fly, drive, travel for one meal. That is a lot of time, energy and resources for one dinner. The adds up to a lot of humanity moving about. For one repast. It is stunning, really. What motivates us Americans to be obsessed with this one day? Is is that is is an ALL AMERICAN holiday- separating us from the rest of the pack? Is it that we are eager to be thankful? Is it that we have an excuse to be gluttonous under the guise of tradition? Is it that we move heaven and earth sometimes to be home for this holiday? Is it about generosity of spirit and family?
At any rate: I awaken to a home without cable: no Thanksgiving Day Parade. No Dog Show at Madison Square Garden. Those are part of what defines this day for me: besides dining on turkey at least once a year- with stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, gravy and cranberry sauce. Topped with Pecan & Apple pies ala mode.
Yum. Casey, Carlyle and I are having a Thanksgiving picnic in their screened in back porch. Feast cooked by Morton's Market- an upscale Sarasota Landmark and food market. No fuss. No muss.
I put out my Grandma's cloth placemats and we will create our own feast, casual style ala outside. Hope the sun keeps the cool away.
Yesterday, we went to see Howard- my 93 year old dad. He was delighted to see me, and he realized it had been awhile. Good on him, as they might say down under. He didn't recognize his grand daughter, Carlyle and it would reason, that he wouldn't know her boyfriend either. But, they got a kick out of being at the old age home. There were lots of folks who were happy to see me after months of being away. I have 'buds' at the dementia wing of the old age home! I am paving the way for my future.
Happy Thanksgiving to all with warmth and a big smile
Judy
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Memories evoked by sweet potato and marshmellow pie
Tuesday morning with Thanksgiving week breezes,
It is so nice not to have a kitchen to call my own. No pressure to cook Turkey, stuffing or sweet potato & marsh-mellow pie, which reminds me of my dear Grandma Rossmoore! She is my tiny, deaf-ish grandmother whom I affectionately referred to as "Naggy".
For years after my parents divorced, we divided holidays between parents. My father got us on Thurksgiving and Mom got us for Christmas. Thanksgiving was always with all my 15 Rossmoore cousins. We would all gather at "Naggy's" apartment on 5th Avenue overlooking Central Park... and the Hudson. She was on the 19th glorious floor with a terrace and breathtakingly sweeping views.
We would all go to the old classic hotel "THE WESTBURY" with its Polo Lounge. It was on 69th and Madison and is now a condominium. But... for decades: it was a fabulous hotel and gathering hole. Grandma would reserve the second floor: the private rooms- where we would have appetizers and cocktails (not me.... I was too young) and then sit for a privately catered Thanksgiving feast. I don't associate Thanksgiving with 'home cooked ' feasts. I think of them with family and served. It is a bit different picture than the ones found on the covers of Saturday Evening Post. But, that is my heritage, my memory and my family experience.... as a citified kinda gal.
She took me to Europe for my first time overseas when I was 15 1/2. She took me on a two month cruise including two trans-Atlantic crossings... to places like Trondheim, Visby, Oban, Geiranger. Huh? It was the summer of 1966.... Mia Farrow, with her short blond bob had married Frank Sinatra, who crooned the ballad "Strangers in the Night". I was young and to me, going to Europe meant seeing "London, Paris, Rome". Not Bergen, Myrdal or Helsinki. But, my naiveté finally gave way to fascination, my first French Kiss, 2 months of private Ballroom dance lessons... and a world in which confidence would shine.
When I was a little girl, my parents were the first family in this little chic chic suburb of Manhattan called Manhassett. It was scandalous when my parents separated and divorced. They were young, rich, beautiful .... and lived in an amazingly modern home which was all glass. Built in 1950, the same year I was born, this home had an indoor gymnasium with a trampoline, basketball nets... and windows! Tall, grand sweeping windows which let the light into a sad interior space. I learned early on that living in a pretty home does not make people happy.
And although I live in my dream home: it is MY DREAM home. It is not an opulently grand house... as I have never aspired for that- as I learned the secret a long time ago. A DREAM HOME is where there is warmth, calm, openness, peace and light.
Didn't get mind candy last night at the museum. But, the TREE HOUSE was lovely and I learned about how various plants were used 5,000 years ago. So, it kept my interest and piqued my brain cells a bit along the way. Saw a stunning 90+ year old lady last night whom I know from Pine Manor. She graduated from there two years before I was born. She is stunningly beautiful... articulate, feisty in a most classy way... and an inspiration for growing gracefully more antique.
Today: I must take everything off the floor in my makeshift bedroom at Carlyle's home, as she is getting new wooden floors to replace the gross carpeting which has been doubling as the doggies' relieving area. Packing up AGAIN! Thank goodness: it is only chihuahua relief.
Have a grand Tuesday. Another adventure of life, learning and play begins again today
Judy
It is so nice not to have a kitchen to call my own. No pressure to cook Turkey, stuffing or sweet potato & marsh-mellow pie, which reminds me of my dear Grandma Rossmoore! She is my tiny, deaf-ish grandmother whom I affectionately referred to as "Naggy".
For years after my parents divorced, we divided holidays between parents. My father got us on Thurksgiving and Mom got us for Christmas. Thanksgiving was always with all my 15 Rossmoore cousins. We would all gather at "Naggy's" apartment on 5th Avenue overlooking Central Park... and the Hudson. She was on the 19th glorious floor with a terrace and breathtakingly sweeping views.
We would all go to the old classic hotel "THE WESTBURY" with its Polo Lounge. It was on 69th and Madison and is now a condominium. But... for decades: it was a fabulous hotel and gathering hole. Grandma would reserve the second floor: the private rooms- where we would have appetizers and cocktails (not me.... I was too young) and then sit for a privately catered Thanksgiving feast. I don't associate Thanksgiving with 'home cooked ' feasts. I think of them with family and served. It is a bit different picture than the ones found on the covers of Saturday Evening Post. But, that is my heritage, my memory and my family experience.... as a citified kinda gal.
She took me to Europe for my first time overseas when I was 15 1/2. She took me on a two month cruise including two trans-Atlantic crossings... to places like Trondheim, Visby, Oban, Geiranger. Huh? It was the summer of 1966.... Mia Farrow, with her short blond bob had married Frank Sinatra, who crooned the ballad "Strangers in the Night". I was young and to me, going to Europe meant seeing "London, Paris, Rome". Not Bergen, Myrdal or Helsinki. But, my naiveté finally gave way to fascination, my first French Kiss, 2 months of private Ballroom dance lessons... and a world in which confidence would shine.
When I was a little girl, my parents were the first family in this little chic chic suburb of Manhattan called Manhassett. It was scandalous when my parents separated and divorced. They were young, rich, beautiful .... and lived in an amazingly modern home which was all glass. Built in 1950, the same year I was born, this home had an indoor gymnasium with a trampoline, basketball nets... and windows! Tall, grand sweeping windows which let the light into a sad interior space. I learned early on that living in a pretty home does not make people happy.
And although I live in my dream home: it is MY DREAM home. It is not an opulently grand house... as I have never aspired for that- as I learned the secret a long time ago. A DREAM HOME is where there is warmth, calm, openness, peace and light.
Didn't get mind candy last night at the museum. But, the TREE HOUSE was lovely and I learned about how various plants were used 5,000 years ago. So, it kept my interest and piqued my brain cells a bit along the way. Saw a stunning 90+ year old lady last night whom I know from Pine Manor. She graduated from there two years before I was born. She is stunningly beautiful... articulate, feisty in a most classy way... and an inspiration for growing gracefully more antique.
Today: I must take everything off the floor in my makeshift bedroom at Carlyle's home, as she is getting new wooden floors to replace the gross carpeting which has been doubling as the doggies' relieving area. Packing up AGAIN! Thank goodness: it is only chihuahua relief.
Have a grand Tuesday. Another adventure of life, learning and play begins again today
Judy
Monday, November 25, 2013
Clean clothes, a Christmas Candle & the CANOPY
Monday, November 25, 2013
Monday, Monday...
The beginning of a new week. Everything is possible.
I think the biggest lesson that I have learned from this last fund-raising event is a doozy
A succinct "NO GRAZIE"... will spew forth from my not yet toothless smile....if anyone comes within 10 feet of me, for just THINKING such a concept.
At any rate, I had a delightful day for my day of rest. I saw a sappy movie which was when I was in the mood for. A sentimental journey into a land of romance and sweetness. The movie was more like a 'made for TV' type affair called "A CHristmas Candle". I went with me dear LeeLee.... and went to have a bite afterwards at a new to us restaurant. Restaurant surfing is a Sarasota sport. So, we were quite athletic yesterday with my triple decker duck sandwich and two dollar Mimosas! I adore leeLee. When I look at her, I see so much of me.... She is a decade younger, and will just begin her empty nesting this year. She is a naturally handsome woman, fresh faced and welcoming. And she has some body fluff, like me- too. LeeLee has been responsible for introducing many good people into my life, which has been transformative: my yoga, harmonica playing THOM- is one of those gems. Terry the salt therapy dude, Debra- the intuitive worker gal... a kaleidoscope of warmth and resources.
Tried on several garbage bags of CLEANED clothes. Have lots for the ironing gals, and lots for the giveaway pile. Purging at its very best! However, purging at its best is not great until finished. I am still sleeping on a sliver of my Queen bed, occupied by heaps of clean and yet not folded laundry. I am buried in it, so to speak.
I am a big believer in those FORCE FLEX.... pretty smelling bags which grow with the need to stuff.
It is beginning to feel like fall. The trees are wrestling in the breezes and the need for a sweater seems imminent. Subtle but succinct.
I will go to Historic Spanish Point where they are dedicating the new TREE HOUSE which was built on site to study the CANOPY : life among the tree tops. A brilliant woman, Meg Lowman - who has been in the forefront of this arena of expertise will speak. So, it looks like today I will also get some MIND CANDY along the way.
I want a ZIP LINE with the Tree House! Now, that would be a cool thing for the museum.
WHEEEEEEEE
Happy Monday.... and thanks for visiting. Lots to catch up: even my 63rd Birthday. More to come.
Hopefully, and always with a smile
Judy
Monday, Monday...
The beginning of a new week. Everything is possible.
I think the biggest lesson that I have learned from this last fund-raising event is a doozy
A succinct "NO GRAZIE"... will spew forth from my not yet toothless smile....if anyone comes within 10 feet of me, for just THINKING such a concept.
At any rate, I had a delightful day for my day of rest. I saw a sappy movie which was when I was in the mood for. A sentimental journey into a land of romance and sweetness. The movie was more like a 'made for TV' type affair called "A CHristmas Candle". I went with me dear LeeLee.... and went to have a bite afterwards at a new to us restaurant. Restaurant surfing is a Sarasota sport. So, we were quite athletic yesterday with my triple decker duck sandwich and two dollar Mimosas! I adore leeLee. When I look at her, I see so much of me.... She is a decade younger, and will just begin her empty nesting this year. She is a naturally handsome woman, fresh faced and welcoming. And she has some body fluff, like me- too. LeeLee has been responsible for introducing many good people into my life, which has been transformative: my yoga, harmonica playing THOM- is one of those gems. Terry the salt therapy dude, Debra- the intuitive worker gal... a kaleidoscope of warmth and resources.
Tried on several garbage bags of CLEANED clothes. Have lots for the ironing gals, and lots for the giveaway pile. Purging at its very best! However, purging at its best is not great until finished. I am still sleeping on a sliver of my Queen bed, occupied by heaps of clean and yet not folded laundry. I am buried in it, so to speak.
I am a big believer in those FORCE FLEX.... pretty smelling bags which grow with the need to stuff.
It is beginning to feel like fall. The trees are wrestling in the breezes and the need for a sweater seems imminent. Subtle but succinct.
I will go to Historic Spanish Point where they are dedicating the new TREE HOUSE which was built on site to study the CANOPY : life among the tree tops. A brilliant woman, Meg Lowman - who has been in the forefront of this arena of expertise will speak. So, it looks like today I will also get some MIND CANDY along the way.
I want a ZIP LINE with the Tree House! Now, that would be a cool thing for the museum.
WHEEEEEEEE
Happy Monday.... and thanks for visiting. Lots to catch up: even my 63rd Birthday. More to come.
Hopefully, and always with a smile
Judy
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Feeling badly for doing good
Sunday in Sarasota, November 24, 2013
I am sitting in my daughter's dining room, my big APPLE computer sits prominently on the dining room table that I share with Casey (her boyfriend) and his laptop. There will be no Thanksgiving feast as long as the table doubles as an office of sorts. It is a grand excuse and a relief. We will serve foster families at a local restaurant. I can't think of a better way to show one's thanks for a well lived life!
Yesterday, I finished putting all 30 Tall & Large FLEX garbage bags filled with my clothes. That is a big deal. That is a lot of washing. And that does not include all the garbage bags filled with sheets, towels, blankets, pillows, etc.... that Astrid is doing at her home!
Now, the task is to: look at each piece in the daylight to see if there are stains on anything. A stain is an automatic exit to the 'giveaway' zone. If it passes that stage, then I try it on. If it doesn't fit- it goes 'adios mother-what-er'. If it fits AND I still like it, it goes back home. It feels good to do it, but it is tiring. It is like shopping in my closet and not having to whip out payment to take it home. The last step will be to have my 'worker-bees' iron all the many things requiring such attention.
I know that this will sound like an excuse: but, ironing gives me blood blisters! God blessed me with an actual medical condition, genetically bestowed... which PREVENTS me from doing such things as: ironing, sweeping, vacuuming, pulling weeds, blah blah blah. It doesn't prevent me from lifting a cocktail glass or a fork. .... only instruments of 'labor'. It almost sounds like a blessing, not a disease. I knew God loved me. Oh, the name of such 'condition'?: in the 1950's, it was called 'ICTHIOSIS"- fish scale skin. In the new century, it is called "Hyper Keratosis palmeris & plantaris".
I am unique. I have no uvula either. Sounds naughty doesn't it?
At any rate.... during my long hiatus of quietude with the keyboard, I was hood-winked into co-chairing a fund-raising event for an outdoor museum, which I am 'taken with'. I am being kind, really. I returned home to a home riddled with its own kind of tropical cancer: and to a job that I was never asked to do and to a job which I NEVER AGREED to do. All of this, of course.... came at a most inappropriate and unsuitable time. Because I had no time. I had no energy. And, I had no choice. I was already SPENT, and then I was expected to rise to someone else's occasion.
I couldn't say 'no', as it was apparent that even with only a fraction of me available: they needed me.
I couldn't say 'no'. But, I NEVER SAID YES. And, NO one, ever said "THANK YOU" for doing a job no ONE else wanted and for doing a job no ONE else would have done in the same circumstances.
I have spent a major part of my life since 1990- event fund raising. I chaired an event after the death of my husband that raised- grossed over a half million dollars in 4 hours! That was quadruple the money which had been previously made. People rallied because they felt so sorry for me: I defied anyone to say 'no' to me after the death of my husband in Italy and the death of my mother & father in law.... and psychologist- all in 9 months!
This sick home, although in its own way: debilitating- has been invisible to those around me. There is no comprehension of the emotional and physical toll it has taken.... and therefore, no empathy that doing a job for the museum was AN ALMOST inhumanly daunting task to do it along side 'being homeless' from a sick home.
Thereby: the upshot of this was that I was being constantly criticized for how I did everything as co-chair. Not just criticized- but screamed at. And, I had to constantly ask myself: "Why am I allowing myself to be beaten up" at a time when I am giving more than anyone should be asked to give? And, at a time when NO ONE ELSE is coming to the plate. Why would anyone want to make me feel "LESS THAN"? And that was the upshot of this experience.
More about that later.
It is a day of rest. A day of resting from the weariness of mal-intended people.
And, to celebrate having spent a few glorious days with both my daughters: Carlyle and Astrid (with baby FIN)
smiles,
and may sunshine flood your day today....
Judy
I am sitting in my daughter's dining room, my big APPLE computer sits prominently on the dining room table that I share with Casey (her boyfriend) and his laptop. There will be no Thanksgiving feast as long as the table doubles as an office of sorts. It is a grand excuse and a relief. We will serve foster families at a local restaurant. I can't think of a better way to show one's thanks for a well lived life!
Yesterday, I finished putting all 30 Tall & Large FLEX garbage bags filled with my clothes. That is a big deal. That is a lot of washing. And that does not include all the garbage bags filled with sheets, towels, blankets, pillows, etc.... that Astrid is doing at her home!
Now, the task is to: look at each piece in the daylight to see if there are stains on anything. A stain is an automatic exit to the 'giveaway' zone. If it passes that stage, then I try it on. If it doesn't fit- it goes 'adios mother-what-er'. If it fits AND I still like it, it goes back home. It feels good to do it, but it is tiring. It is like shopping in my closet and not having to whip out payment to take it home. The last step will be to have my 'worker-bees' iron all the many things requiring such attention.
I know that this will sound like an excuse: but, ironing gives me blood blisters! God blessed me with an actual medical condition, genetically bestowed... which PREVENTS me from doing such things as: ironing, sweeping, vacuuming, pulling weeds, blah blah blah. It doesn't prevent me from lifting a cocktail glass or a fork. .... only instruments of 'labor'. It almost sounds like a blessing, not a disease. I knew God loved me. Oh, the name of such 'condition'?: in the 1950's, it was called 'ICTHIOSIS"- fish scale skin. In the new century, it is called "Hyper Keratosis palmeris & plantaris".
I am unique. I have no uvula either. Sounds naughty doesn't it?
At any rate.... during my long hiatus of quietude with the keyboard, I was hood-winked into co-chairing a fund-raising event for an outdoor museum, which I am 'taken with'. I am being kind, really. I returned home to a home riddled with its own kind of tropical cancer: and to a job that I was never asked to do and to a job which I NEVER AGREED to do. All of this, of course.... came at a most inappropriate and unsuitable time. Because I had no time. I had no energy. And, I had no choice. I was already SPENT, and then I was expected to rise to someone else's occasion.
I couldn't say 'no', as it was apparent that even with only a fraction of me available: they needed me.
I couldn't say 'no'. But, I NEVER SAID YES. And, NO one, ever said "THANK YOU" for doing a job no ONE else wanted and for doing a job no ONE else would have done in the same circumstances.
I have spent a major part of my life since 1990- event fund raising. I chaired an event after the death of my husband that raised- grossed over a half million dollars in 4 hours! That was quadruple the money which had been previously made. People rallied because they felt so sorry for me: I defied anyone to say 'no' to me after the death of my husband in Italy and the death of my mother & father in law.... and psychologist- all in 9 months!
This sick home, although in its own way: debilitating- has been invisible to those around me. There is no comprehension of the emotional and physical toll it has taken.... and therefore, no empathy that doing a job for the museum was AN ALMOST inhumanly daunting task to do it along side 'being homeless' from a sick home.
Thereby: the upshot of this was that I was being constantly criticized for how I did everything as co-chair. Not just criticized- but screamed at. And, I had to constantly ask myself: "Why am I allowing myself to be beaten up" at a time when I am giving more than anyone should be asked to give? And, at a time when NO ONE ELSE is coming to the plate. Why would anyone want to make me feel "LESS THAN"? And that was the upshot of this experience.
More about that later.
It is a day of rest. A day of resting from the weariness of mal-intended people.
And, to celebrate having spent a few glorious days with both my daughters: Carlyle and Astrid (with baby FIN)
smiles,
and may sunshine flood your day today....
Judy
Saturday, November 23, 2013
POD-ful & HOME-less
Saturday, November 22, 2013
I have been silent. Overwhelmed really.
I have not had the time nor the energy to write. I knew that there was a beginning and an end to this challenging time, and that understanding is a gift.
But, NOW I have both the time and energy. So, for the next few days or weeks... I will let you into the little secret which has been my life.
For those of you who are new to my saga: I arrived home after a long hiatus away - to discover my house was filled with mold and mildew. When I have heard of friends who had been confronted with that situation and had to live elsewhere: I never gave it much thought. I never gave it any sympathy. I had no concept of what it is like to have your HOME have 'cancer'. Everything you have ever owned, therefore everything that you have ever touched .... has ALSO been touched by this cancer, called 'muffa'
I have a friend who said "Oh Judy, I know what you are going through. I moved twice in the past year"! I didn't say anything in response. But, I knew deep in my gut that my friend was so off-base by that comparison, and grossly insensitive to the enormity of the task which befell me. And yet, I always say "You can't know what you don't know". She can't know what she doesn't know as I couldn't have known what I hadn't known before this.
We don't always get to choose our own life's lessons,
I have moved many more times than TWICE this year. I packed up my son's house and moved him into a house. I also packed up the house my son was moving into, as the owner died in FRANCE- choking on escargot! ESCARGOT did him in. So, this poor, well fed dude- had not planned on dying or on selling his home. So, I got to pack up his home before my son could move in!. It was a TWO FOR ONE move. I got to move TWO HOUSES, so that my son could live in ONE.
Then, in Italy in the spring: I moved from ONE villa with 154 steps to TWO VILLAS. So, I got to pack up ONE home and move into TWO HOMES. Another TWO for ONE. I got to move ONE HOUSE, so that we could live in TWO.
Then, I arrive back into Sarasota only to find my house uninhabitable. That means, I have really been living out of a suitcase or with the contents of the same suitcase: since April. That is 7 months, and it too, takes its toll. Albeit, with a beginning and an end.
Cleaning this house,means moving everything out of it FIRST. Moving from THIS HOUSE is NOT just a move. Everything little thing must be washed. Every hangar, for instance. Every lightbulb. Every barret or headband, sox, hats, gloves.... EVERYTHING, must be cleaned before it may be moved into another house, as MOLD spores are airborne. You can't necessarily see them... but they are there. If you can see it, then it is obvious. But, if you can't see it- it doesn't mean it is NOT there.... making it mandatory to clean everything.
I have lived in my house for 40 years. That means, I have had 40 years to collect lots of stuff. Stuff. and more stuff. I have a house which is chocker block filled with 'built-ins', making every inch of space available to be filled with stuff!. I took full advantage of that storage. It is like a religious conviction: if you've got it, fill it"! A built-in filled with AIR? Such a waste of potential.
The emotional GIFT of immeasurable proportions was that I had no choice. I didn't have time to think about all the memories, the history, which is my life. There are not many folks these days who live in a home for 40 years. It is my entire adult life. It is raising my family. My husband. My grand-kids. Even though I didn't take time to think about each thing.... it has taken its toll inside my emotional gut, nonetheless. My body, heart and soul still feels the 'death' of the house and the end of a long season in life, even if my mind is not dwelling on it. It has un conciously, but significantly taken its emotional and physical toll. I have felt overwhelmed, under equipped, ill prepared and out of balance. Spent. There were 12 hour workdays of cleaning, packing, sorting.... breathing in my breath through a mask. One night I plopped into my car with my behind and one leg inside: I couldn't lift my left leg and put it into a low sitting convertible. I had to take my hands and lift my left silly leg into the short car! I knew then how exhausted I was.
Every single thing in my home I either chose, bought or was a gift. I got to touch each and everything.... I got to caress each thing, deciding if it stays in storage with my dearest treasures until I decide the next stage of my life..... or I got to "say good bye" to them, allowing those things to have a new life giving pleasure to someone else... or I got to pick if it remains in the house for the interim. Those are the things which may follow me to my next stage.... or perhaps not make the next cut.
It was a rite of passage, so to speak. That was a nice thing to do for me. I had taken the time to find these objects, like them, buy them and place them in my home.... (remembering where I even bought most things throughout 40 years). That process takes an investment of time. I honored that investment of time during this process of letting go.
The decision of what to 'throw away', 'give away', keep for storage for the next stage, or things which will remain: was easy for me. My bar has been simple:
1. If it didn't survive the dishwasher or washing machine: It was given or thrown away.
2. If it has a stain, faded, ripped or is broken: It was given or thrown away
3. If I no longer like it: It gets given away, to be enjoyed again. After all- everything we think we own, we really have paid for the privilege of enjoying it for awhile. Like renting it without the monthly fee.
By virtue of my decorating, I had already separated them into the following piles:
I had 4 piles in order to make my formerly FILLED home: naked.
1.
I have a 30 yard dumpster... the largest residential one available. Almost filled.
2.
I have a bunch of fabulous 'worker bees' who take everything I want to give away. So, I don't even have to take those things anywhere. Yeah.
3.
I have a LARGE POD for storage. Those are the things I most treasure: photos, family furniture, art.
4.
Then, I have another LARGE POD for the things which were cleaned and have to remain in the house when clean.
All carpet came up. Some wallpaper came down. The house has been doused in CHLORINE: inside every crevice, built in, inside closets, behind closet doors, all ceiling, walls, floors. All 4,000 square feet of NAKED HOUSE.
Of course: all the furniture ( wooden) which was removed from the home, was washed in chlorine, too.
My house has been smelling like the inside of an indoor swimming pool. The roof is being fixed. Remember: I already have 3 complete roofs on this house already! My LIFETIME warranty one: is the one failing miserably.... but, so must the other two, somewhere, since the water reached the inside of the house.
Enough blah blah on the house. But, be warned: more to come. Lots learned.
Smiles for this Saturday. It is sunny and perfectly cool/warm. I love PERFECT DAYS. It makes me so happy to be alive!
Judy
I have been silent. Overwhelmed really.
I have not had the time nor the energy to write. I knew that there was a beginning and an end to this challenging time, and that understanding is a gift.
But, NOW I have both the time and energy. So, for the next few days or weeks... I will let you into the little secret which has been my life.
For those of you who are new to my saga: I arrived home after a long hiatus away - to discover my house was filled with mold and mildew. When I have heard of friends who had been confronted with that situation and had to live elsewhere: I never gave it much thought. I never gave it any sympathy. I had no concept of what it is like to have your HOME have 'cancer'. Everything you have ever owned, therefore everything that you have ever touched .... has ALSO been touched by this cancer, called 'muffa'
I have a friend who said "Oh Judy, I know what you are going through. I moved twice in the past year"! I didn't say anything in response. But, I knew deep in my gut that my friend was so off-base by that comparison, and grossly insensitive to the enormity of the task which befell me. And yet, I always say "You can't know what you don't know". She can't know what she doesn't know as I couldn't have known what I hadn't known before this.
We don't always get to choose our own life's lessons,
I have moved many more times than TWICE this year. I packed up my son's house and moved him into a house. I also packed up the house my son was moving into, as the owner died in FRANCE- choking on escargot! ESCARGOT did him in. So, this poor, well fed dude- had not planned on dying or on selling his home. So, I got to pack up his home before my son could move in!. It was a TWO FOR ONE move. I got to move TWO HOUSES, so that my son could live in ONE.
Then, in Italy in the spring: I moved from ONE villa with 154 steps to TWO VILLAS. So, I got to pack up ONE home and move into TWO HOMES. Another TWO for ONE. I got to move ONE HOUSE, so that we could live in TWO.
Then, I arrive back into Sarasota only to find my house uninhabitable. That means, I have really been living out of a suitcase or with the contents of the same suitcase: since April. That is 7 months, and it too, takes its toll. Albeit, with a beginning and an end.
Cleaning this house,means moving everything out of it FIRST. Moving from THIS HOUSE is NOT just a move. Everything little thing must be washed. Every hangar, for instance. Every lightbulb. Every barret or headband, sox, hats, gloves.... EVERYTHING, must be cleaned before it may be moved into another house, as MOLD spores are airborne. You can't necessarily see them... but they are there. If you can see it, then it is obvious. But, if you can't see it- it doesn't mean it is NOT there.... making it mandatory to clean everything.
I have lived in my house for 40 years. That means, I have had 40 years to collect lots of stuff. Stuff. and more stuff. I have a house which is chocker block filled with 'built-ins', making every inch of space available to be filled with stuff!. I took full advantage of that storage. It is like a religious conviction: if you've got it, fill it"! A built-in filled with AIR? Such a waste of potential.
The emotional GIFT of immeasurable proportions was that I had no choice. I didn't have time to think about all the memories, the history, which is my life. There are not many folks these days who live in a home for 40 years. It is my entire adult life. It is raising my family. My husband. My grand-kids. Even though I didn't take time to think about each thing.... it has taken its toll inside my emotional gut, nonetheless. My body, heart and soul still feels the 'death' of the house and the end of a long season in life, even if my mind is not dwelling on it. It has un conciously, but significantly taken its emotional and physical toll. I have felt overwhelmed, under equipped, ill prepared and out of balance. Spent. There were 12 hour workdays of cleaning, packing, sorting.... breathing in my breath through a mask. One night I plopped into my car with my behind and one leg inside: I couldn't lift my left leg and put it into a low sitting convertible. I had to take my hands and lift my left silly leg into the short car! I knew then how exhausted I was.
Every single thing in my home I either chose, bought or was a gift. I got to touch each and everything.... I got to caress each thing, deciding if it stays in storage with my dearest treasures until I decide the next stage of my life..... or I got to "say good bye" to them, allowing those things to have a new life giving pleasure to someone else... or I got to pick if it remains in the house for the interim. Those are the things which may follow me to my next stage.... or perhaps not make the next cut.
It was a rite of passage, so to speak. That was a nice thing to do for me. I had taken the time to find these objects, like them, buy them and place them in my home.... (remembering where I even bought most things throughout 40 years). That process takes an investment of time. I honored that investment of time during this process of letting go.
The decision of what to 'throw away', 'give away', keep for storage for the next stage, or things which will remain: was easy for me. My bar has been simple:
1. If it didn't survive the dishwasher or washing machine: It was given or thrown away.
2. If it has a stain, faded, ripped or is broken: It was given or thrown away
3. If I no longer like it: It gets given away, to be enjoyed again. After all- everything we think we own, we really have paid for the privilege of enjoying it for awhile. Like renting it without the monthly fee.
By virtue of my decorating, I had already separated them into the following piles:
I had 4 piles in order to make my formerly FILLED home: naked.
1.
I have a 30 yard dumpster... the largest residential one available. Almost filled.
2.
I have a bunch of fabulous 'worker bees' who take everything I want to give away. So, I don't even have to take those things anywhere. Yeah.
3.
I have a LARGE POD for storage. Those are the things I most treasure: photos, family furniture, art.
4.
Then, I have another LARGE POD for the things which were cleaned and have to remain in the house when clean.
All carpet came up. Some wallpaper came down. The house has been doused in CHLORINE: inside every crevice, built in, inside closets, behind closet doors, all ceiling, walls, floors. All 4,000 square feet of NAKED HOUSE.
Of course: all the furniture ( wooden) which was removed from the home, was washed in chlorine, too.
My house has been smelling like the inside of an indoor swimming pool. The roof is being fixed. Remember: I already have 3 complete roofs on this house already! My LIFETIME warranty one: is the one failing miserably.... but, so must the other two, somewhere, since the water reached the inside of the house.
Enough blah blah on the house. But, be warned: more to come. Lots learned.
Smiles for this Saturday. It is sunny and perfectly cool/warm. I love PERFECT DAYS. It makes me so happy to be alive!
Judy
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