POD-ful & HOME-less

Saturday, November 22, 2013

I have been silent. Overwhelmed really.

I have not had the time nor the energy to write. I knew that there was a beginning and an end to this challenging time, and that understanding is a gift.

 But, NOW I have both the time and energy. So, for the next few days or weeks... I will let you into the little secret which has been my life.

For those of you who are new to my saga: I arrived home after a long hiatus away - to discover my house was filled with mold and mildew. When I have heard of friends who had been confronted with that situation and had to live elsewhere: I never gave it much thought. I never gave it any sympathy. I had no concept of what it is like to have your HOME have 'cancer'.  Everything you have ever owned, therefore everything that you have ever touched .... has ALSO been touched by this cancer, called 'muffa'

I have a friend who said "Oh Judy, I know what you are going through. I moved twice in the past year"! I didn't say anything in response. But, I knew deep in my gut that my friend was so off-base by that comparison, and grossly insensitive to the enormity of the task which befell me. And yet, I always say "You can't know what you don't know". She can't know what she doesn't know as I couldn't have known what I hadn't known before this.

We don't always get to choose our own life's lessons,

I have moved many more times than TWICE this year. I packed up my son's house and moved him into a house. I also packed up the house my son was moving into, as the owner died in FRANCE- choking on escargot! ESCARGOT did him in. So, this poor, well fed dude- had not planned on dying or on selling his home. So, I got to pack up his home before my son could move in!. It was a TWO FOR ONE move. I got to move TWO HOUSES, so that my son could live in ONE.

Then, in Italy in the spring: I moved from ONE villa with 154 steps to TWO VILLAS. So, I got to pack up ONE home and move into TWO HOMES. Another TWO for ONE. I got to move ONE HOUSE, so that we could live in TWO.

Then, I arrive back into Sarasota only to find my house uninhabitable. That means, I have really been living out of a suitcase or with the contents of the same suitcase: since April. That is 7 months, and it too, takes its toll. Albeit, with a beginning and an end.

Cleaning this house,means moving everything out of it FIRST. Moving from THIS HOUSE is NOT just a move. Everything little thing must be washed. Every hangar, for instance. Every lightbulb. Every barret or headband, sox, hats, gloves.... EVERYTHING, must be cleaned before it may be moved into another house, as MOLD spores are airborne. You can't necessarily see them... but they are there. If you can see it, then it is obvious. But, if you can't see it- it doesn't mean it is NOT there.... making it mandatory to clean everything.

I have lived in my house for 40 years. That means, I have had 40 years to collect lots of stuff. Stuff. and more stuff. I have a house which is chocker block filled with 'built-ins', making every inch of space available to be filled with stuff!. I took full advantage of that storage. It is like a religious conviction: if you've got it, fill it"! A built-in filled with AIR? Such a waste of potential.

The emotional GIFT of immeasurable proportions was that I had no choice. I didn't have time to think about all the memories, the history, which is my life. There are not many folks these days who live in a home for 40 years. It is my entire adult life. It is raising my family. My husband. My grand-kids. Even though I didn't take time to think about each thing.... it has taken its toll inside my emotional gut, nonetheless. My body, heart and soul still feels the 'death' of the house and the end of a long season in life, even if my mind is not dwelling on it. It has un conciously, but significantly taken its emotional and physical toll. I have felt overwhelmed, under equipped, ill prepared and out of balance. Spent. There were 12 hour workdays of cleaning, packing, sorting.... breathing in my breath through a mask. One night I plopped into my car with my behind and one leg inside: I couldn't lift my left leg and put it into a low sitting convertible. I had to take my hands and lift my left silly leg into the short car! I knew then how exhausted I was.

Every single thing in my home I either chose, bought or was a gift. I got to touch each and everything.... I got to caress each thing, deciding if it stays in storage with my dearest treasures until I decide the next stage of my life..... or I got to "say good bye" to them, allowing those things  to have a new life giving pleasure to someone else... or I got to pick if it remains in the house for the interim. Those are the things which may follow me to my next stage.... or perhaps not make the next cut.
It was a rite of passage, so to speak. That was a nice thing to do for me. I had taken the time to find these objects, like them, buy them and place them in my home.... (remembering where I even bought most things throughout 40 years). That process takes an investment of time. I honored that investment of time during this process of letting go.

The decision of what to 'throw away', 'give away', keep for storage for the next stage, or things which will remain: was easy for me. My bar has been simple:

1. If it didn't survive the dishwasher or washing machine: It was given or thrown away.
2. If it has a stain, faded, ripped or is broken: It was given or thrown away
3. If I no longer like it: It gets given away, to be enjoyed again. After all- everything we think we own, we really have paid for the privilege of enjoying it for awhile. Like renting it without the monthly fee.

By virtue of my decorating, I had already separated them into the following piles:

I had 4 piles in order to make my formerly FILLED home: naked.
1.
I have a 30 yard dumpster... the largest residential one available. Almost filled.

2.
I have a bunch of fabulous 'worker bees' who take everything I want to give away. So, I don't even have to take those things anywhere. Yeah.

3.
I have a LARGE POD for storage. Those are the things I most treasure: photos, family furniture, art.

4.
Then, I have another LARGE POD for the things which were cleaned and have to remain in the house when clean.

All carpet came up. Some wallpaper came down. The house has been doused in CHLORINE: inside every crevice, built in, inside closets, behind closet doors, all ceiling, walls, floors. All 4,000 square feet of NAKED HOUSE.

Of course: all the furniture ( wooden) which was removed from the home, was washed in chlorine, too.

My house has been smelling like the inside of an indoor swimming pool. The roof is being fixed. Remember: I already have 3 complete roofs on this house already! My LIFETIME warranty one: is the one failing miserably.... but, so must the other two, somewhere, since the water reached the inside of the house.

Enough blah blah on the house. But, be warned: more to come. Lots learned.

Smiles for this Saturday. It is sunny and perfectly cool/warm. I love PERFECT DAYS. It makes me so happy to be alive!

Judy