Breezy, easy Sarasota day

I have hesitated writing, much like I hesitate getting on my yoga mat. It is an interior struggle between being productive and not being able to take that first step. It is amazing how much we get in our own way....

As I write this, I hear little Pip-squeaks as he is playing in the pool- carefree, naked and filled will all the potential that each day brings to us. It is the sound of pure joy. That is truly one of the beautiful parts about our life experience: we get to create each day- NEW. We get the opportunity to have squeaks of joy. If we don't get in our own way, that is.


I am feeling particularly philosophical today. The eldest daughter of a gal friend of mine died yesterday. A beautiful young woman- of 19 or so. Tormented without the coping skills to survive her hurdle. How many times have I thought to myself: "There, but for the grace of God, go I." How many times I have put myself in a position that had someone wanted to: they could have harmed me. And, after 6 decades, I could also say: How many times have I put myself in a position that I could have harmed myself? It sometimes takes only a smidge.... in life, to make that difference.

My heart aches for her mom. And her sisters. For her. And for all those whose life she has touched- just by being in it- and then vanishing too soon.

Years ago when my Georgie was only a year old, I went to the funeral for the daughter of friends. She too, was a beautiful young woman, aged 19. She was killed driving home from college for summer holiday. I remember sitting in the church that day, hearing what was to be a profound and life-changing question raised. The minister, who was also a cousin of the parents, asked: "Would you rather have known the joy of this young lady for 19 years, and also know the pain of losing her?" OR.... "Would you sacrifice that pain by sacrificing ever having known her?"  The answer is simple. To love- even for a day is a gift. To have that gift each and every day afterward- is the GIFT.  Our kids are lent to us, and however much time we have- is the GIFT. Being aware of that concept on how to look at life- has carried me and lifted me when most needed. I have never- had to face the loss of a child. And, that is untenable to my heart, as it strikes horror in the heart of all moms. So, I know that her mom and her sisters' journey will be a hard one, and for that I am heartsick.